Dear Amy: “Glenda” and I have been friends for 43 years. Glenda and her sister “Brenda” are twins – and I’m friends with both of them!
Glenda’s 60th birthday was approaching. After months of deliberation and pandemic restrictions, we decided that a small group would go to a local casino for brunch and fun.
Glenda, Brenda, and I were part of the plan. Glenda wanted to invite two friends but didn’t want her sister to invite anyone. However, Brenda and I have a mutual friend that we wanted to include. (All of these people were at my wedding and we’ve all been friends for over 35 years).
We wanted to take an Uber that would take us so we could have more fun, but with Covid we had to take two Uber and meet at the venue. No problem, huh?
Well, Glenda said that would NOT work. She insisted on going together and partying on the way there.
Well, you can’t drink in Ubers so a party on the way was out of the question.
We got into a big fight over the phone over the extra person her sister and I had invited. She threw away the comment: “I thought you were MY girlfriend and it is MY birthday that you are ruining.”
She kept forgetting that she is a twin and that I am friends with both of them!
Amy, she said our friendship was over. Our friendship has ended because of an Uber ride?
I miss Glenda and I’m still very good friends with Brenda, but Glenda and I have a longer history.
My own 60th birthday came and went with no fanfare and no Glenda.
We exchanged a few courtesies on Facebook, and I even considered bringing her a “Peace Lily”, but maybe that friendship has run its course.
How should i fix it?
– Double anger friendship
Dear Double Trouble: You know that great moment in the film “Jaws”, in which Richard Dreyfuss’ character picks up a pan full of body parts and angrily explains: “That was NOT a boating accident?”
Well this is NOT about an Uber ride.
“Glenda” didn’t always “forget” that she happened to have a birthday with her twin, I assure you.
Her extremely selfish reaction to your plans seems like very little about you and just about sharing a birthday with her twin.
Glenda just doesn’t want to share.
In my opinion, Glenda is the person who should deliver a “Peace Lily”.
Their twin “Brenda” received the best birthday present from the two sisters, which is a constant friendship with them.
Dear Amy: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 18 years. We are not married.
He asked me to marry three times, but he never made a commitment to me.
We have been living with his parents for six years.
His father is a tyrant who belittles his wife all day every day.
If he doesn’t get his way, he’ll get angry and act worse than a three-year-old.
His dad is in his 80s but I don’t blame him for his age. As long as I’ve known him, he’s been a selfish, mean, mean tyrant.
My friend is the same.
Not as bad as his father, but over the years his anger got worse.
He has this chronic “I hate the world” attitude that is directed at me.
Everything is my fault. He humiliates and humiliates me.
We don’t have children or pets, so don’t worry and we’re not married here either. Am I wrong for leaving our relationship?
Dear Tired: In the time it took you to write your question, you could have contacted a friend, family member (or on Craigslist) and found a temporary home to get you out of this household.
I hope you will.
Dear Amy: “Just Sayin ‘” demanded that women should better defend themselves against fondling and sexual assault.
I also taught my daughter not to let anyone bother her. My beautiful daughter is 5′10 ”, brave and very intelligent!
And then one day (when she was 19 years old) a colleague raped her.
He had harassed her at work before, but she couldn’t push back.
My beautiful daughter found it in her to go to the police and the rapist was convicted.
I am impressed with their courage. The victim is NOT to blame.
– mother of a warrior
Dear mother, I am in awe of her too!
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.