Dear Harriette: It doesn’t look like I’ll graduate in time. I’m missing a few credits and graduate next week. I can take classes over the summer and finish in the fall, but I will miss the ceremony and not be able to go on stage with my friends. Of course, I’m sad and a little embarrassed. I want to avoid the ceremony altogether as I cannot attend, but I know it is important for me to support all of my friends who are graduating. I am afraid that when I get there I will be very emotional and bitter. How can I put the bitterness aside and show up for my friends? – Upset
Dear grudge, you have to face your reality first. You’ve known for a long time that you won’t graduate this year. You have to accept that and decide your plan for the future. When the way forward is clear, you will find it easier to face your friends.
If you have the courage, put on your friends hat and go to their graduation and celebrations. Honor them by showing up where you can. You probably won’t have to talk about yourself a lot. They will look forward to their big day, as will their families. Let them talk about themselves. When asked about your plans, share them – you intend to finish your final credits this summer and …? Think about what you are going to do next so that you can say it out loud.
Dear Harriette, my friend keeps lending people money and never getting it back. I don’t understand why he continues like this even though he knows that the result is usually not the best. He is a very thoughtful person and tries to be as helpful as possible, but I feel like I see him walking around everywhere. I don’t want to tell him what he can and can’t do with his money, but I think it’s just common sense at this point. What can I tell him to convince him to basically stop giving his money away? – Say no
Better to say no: instead of telling your friend what to do, encourage them to think about other ways to invest their money. Suggest that the two of you find ways to build wealth and help others. Since your friend is naturally generous, mention some organizations that help people or other causes that are important to them. He may want to consider donating a certain amount of money each year to a charity that suits his interests.
Also, find out more from financial advisors and suggest they seek advice to discuss their money and the future. Start developing wealth-building strategies now that will pay off later. By tying up vital dollars today, your friend will have less liquid money to save people and he will likely have more confidence in his ability to support things he deems worthy, especially those with a potentially robust return on investment.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative that helps people achieve and achieve their dreams. Questions can be sent to [email protected] or c / o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.